Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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