that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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