idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
