what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
