I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
