your parents love me but you hate me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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