She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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