yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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