he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
