This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
