You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
