yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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