I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
