What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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