Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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