my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
