Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
