I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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