the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
