When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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