how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
