just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
