great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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