We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
