oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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