this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
