You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
