TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
