I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
