So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
