well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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