How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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