I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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