no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
