do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
