Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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