Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
