Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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