didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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