can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
