i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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