She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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