I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
