SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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