afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
