i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
