Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The best revenge is premature balding
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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