I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I need moral support for this bender
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
