So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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