Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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